Camping: An Idiot's Guide

I went camping with a group of eight friends, all of them being regular campers. I however, only remember going camping when I was more interested in a colouring book. When you're nine, the parents do all the hard work and all of a sudden, a brand new home is created for you on holiday. So when I went away this weekend, everything was brand new and alien to me, and I actually learnt a lot about camping. There's a lot that can be said for the phrase 'taking things for granted'...

The camp site we were at (Bush Farm, West Knoyle, Wiltshire, England) was a really rustic place, where they literally give you a patch of land in the woods and leave you to it. None of this business where they pack you in so tight you can't see grass. We were allowed camp fires, and, more importantly, were allowed to be in a group consisting of people aged between 20-25. There's a lot of camp sites that actually disagree with this, but they're more family based. From my short but sweet camping trip, here are my rules for a successful and convenient holiday. Some rules are obvious, but perhaps so obvious that they get forgotten:

1) When you buy a tent, double it.I suppose this is a given. I bought a '2 person' tent; however you do NOT want this if you are sharing with someone else. I felt like I was in a sardine tin; and so did my tent buddy. I was almost relieved when my tent buddy was forced to leave the tent because the rain had got her stuff soaked. Are you sharing a tent with three people? Buy a '6 person' tent. Etc...

2) Dry Wood.Campfires are a bitch at the best of times, but when you are surrounded by trees you think that maybe the wood you can gather will be enough for a decent campfire... unless the wood is perfectly dry, either buy some or use an alternative material. Smoke EVERYWHERE...

3) Dry Shampoo.Probably one for the ladies here. Shower and toilet facilities are fab, however dry shampoo saves you a LOT of hassle (especially if you're stranded in your tent because you forgot your wellies and it's bucketing it down with rain outside.) It doesn't make you feel as fresh, but hey, you're camping.

4) Remember Wellies.See above.

5) Lanterns and torches.You can never have too many of these. You don't realise just how dark it can get outside - this sounds silly but light is heavily taken for granted. I bought a LED torch and also a LED lantern. The lanterns are great for putting in tents whilst you're trying to sort yourself out.

6) Blankets.There's nothing worse than being freezing cold in a tent when it's windy and rainy outside. If I hadn't had my blanket with me (as well as my sleeping bag, obviously) I'd still be at the camp site now, thawing.

7) Know your route!Scenario: It's torrential downpour outside your tent. There's water inside your tent. It's 3:30AM. You don't have your wellies with you, and the toilets aren't exactly a 10-second walk away. Even though you have your LED torch, you don't want to be shining it everywhere around other people's tents. Know your pee route; the nearest emergency tree...

8) Emergency Poncho (No, seriously)After going to the effort to know your pee route, you don't want to return back to your tent soaking wet. They are a life saver, and also work well to use as a cover around the inside doorway of your tent. I got one for 50p at Morrisons; and it served it's job well. Zip fastenings really aren't that secure with the rain is without mercy.

9) Socks.Always take spare socks. Wet feet are never fun.

10) Heads up!It's rare that you will be able to get that perfect flat surface when you pitch your tent. Nine times out of ten you'll be on a slope of some sort. ALWAYS sleep with your head on the top of the slope, with your feet at the bottom. It's a lot more comfortable and the condensation can gather elsewhere.


So that's my quick summary of a complete idiot's guide to camping. I hope I remember it if I go again! For a wet, filthy, knackering weekend, I must say, it was totally worth it! An education, if you will. Laters!